Wednesday, August 29, 2012

You Can't Stop Me.

I have spent so much time in the past ten years completely upset that I cook to make money.  I have wanted to make money off of my paintings and my paintings alone.  People hear that you cook and they say things like "Don't stop painting though" or "I hope you continue, you're really good."  I am a stubborn cuss and these conversations drive me up the wall.  I haven't stopped yet and you can't stop me.  My hand is swollen and burned.  I worked at the fry shack early today and again later at the deli job that I just picked up.  I think I will be working both jobs until the fry shack closes.  I tried to convince myself today after the second job that I was going to go home and go to bed, but as I was sitting here at home I thought, "I want to work on that piece I started, the colors aren't right yet."  And so I did.  I love this Power Lines series.  I love working with the wood paint and sand paper.  Most of all, I love how after a day of cooking all I want to do is make a painting.  It is almost as if I get work done with a greater urgency when I am working for someone else.  I want to figure out what that is about, because I don't think that I will have to cook forever.  I will make it.  How do I keep that sense of urgency if I do make it, however.

A question that I will save for another day, because now that I have finished my painting, it is time for bed.  I really am tired.  I guess this means that I worked three separate jobs today.  Woot.  You can call me the machine.  I'm feeling good about myself.  Keep up.


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