Today, I have felt a bit behind.
I'm taking this moment to acknowledge that I am letting outside forces dictate my speed and my mood today. It is time to take pause. I did not used to believe that a bad mood or day could be recovered, but I am now feeling more of the opinion that the only moment that matters is the present. I must focus on the present.
I am planning a trip to Big Sur. Henry Miller and Jack Kerouac's books both had a huge impact on me. I think that Miller sought the same solitude that I seek. I feel disenfranchised with a social media driven world even as I use it on a daily basis. Miller loved and doted on his daughter to his wife's fury. I understand that position better than I ever thought that I would. Miller feels like my voice. He's a bit bitter but sees hope in the individual. Kerouac on the other hand seems like a lovable failure. As he drifts about in his head, coming down, he feels both foreign and near at hand. We distance ourselves from the moments of vulnerability which might be evident in these passages. I am currently in a very vulnerable place, however.
I hope to find something on my pilgrimage. I have not traveled to either coast solely for myself in some time. I think that all of my introspective friends that I've been drawing would appreciate this position of self discovery that I am entering into.
Today feels fast. I don't know why. I'm going to get up and take a walk.