Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Flow, Bob and Weave.

I haven't had any desire to leave studio lately.  Whether working or napping or reading, it has felt like I belong there more than anywhere else, and it's true.  Over the past year I've questioned my decision to go back to school so many times, I owe a small house in loans, but it has finally hit me.  I've reached that point where I can be a little bit poor and still be completely satisfied with life.  This IS the life that I have tried so hard to obtain and I no longer have to do anything that I don't like.  Cooking is a part of me as much as painting and music is the blood that keeps everything flowing.  And so it's just one step on to the next step on to the next step on to the next.

I have also been re-reading Dishwasher by Pete Jordan.  It is the story of a young slacker who is more engaged by adventuring across the country than with any particular job.  He takes to dishwashing with the goal of working in all 50 states.  It is a sort of zen like experience that Jordan talks about.  He stresses anonymity, a quality which I have often admired and sought.  This zen within non-holy moments really intrigues me.  I feel as though my own work escapades are becoming less and less separate from my "work."  Art is more than just paint and panel, ink and paper, it is me.  It is everything that I do because I make art and I don't shut off that persona when I am washing dishes or making people lunch.  It is easier to tell that I am making art if you see me drawing something, but there is something that happens with daily contact which is unique to me or to you.  I am analyzing those situations and responding with my tongue and body language as brush.  It never shuts off. 

A long time ago my exes dad was telling me about one of the many self-help books that he was reading.  It talked about finding flow and realizing other people had stories.  Essentially everybody lives in the same moment but experiences and sees that moment differently because of their own prior experiences.  We studied this in art as well.  We called it perception and logged it under Roland Barthes "Writerly Reader."  I've been thinking about flow again; how I navigate in and out of my story and other people's stories.  These three pieces have started to serve as the intermediaries between the other panels that I am working on with disparate mechanical bits.  They are the flow that will help me move from one story to the next, an intermission of sorts.

I intend to be as malleable as possible within the self that I have found.  Stick to your guns but roll with the punches.  Bob and weave.  Keep up.

Til next time.

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