I hang this installation in 18 days. I also start a new job next week. The semester doesn't end until the week after the show. I feel incredibly overwhelmed. It is no surprise to me that as one of my students was asking me to lighten up on the assignment today I relented. Why should everybody have to keep working all the time? That said, I've mostly been wishing for the ability to continue working all the time. I want so much out of this show and I'm just not sure that I am going to be able to pull it off. This isn't all bad. If I don't succeed 100% that gives me a spot to start when I am through with the show, but of course I want everything to be perfect for my own sake. The average viewer doesn't know when we fail ourselves and failure is healthy and desirable, a learning experience and a chance to change.
Yesterday I began revamping a piece that I thought that I had a clear plan on. It was exciting to cover up the old design and bring a new design to the piece. It doesn't mathematically fit together and I prefer it that way. It is exploding from the lower left hand corner of the piece. I'm not sure that it works as well as I would like but it's new and a bit more exciting.
The variation in this show may prove to be difficult to work with. I haven't determined if it may be easier or if I will find difficulties working everything in together. I know that I am interested in the show being a bit chaotic, disorienting and loud, but I am not sure how much I need it to sit still to be happy with it.